Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Why I'm Riding My Bicycle To Town Today

No Need For Violence, Sir

Don't beat me, don't beat me,
I can't feel a thing.
Just give me your money
and listen, "Cha-ching."


This PMN special report is made possible by ESP and a Time-Warner Internet connection. Too bad I have to pay them for their sponsorship.

You Park On The Drive But Not In The Park?

Double Parked

Park In two spaces,
I really don't care.
Feed me and my brother
and we'll think it fair.

But don't try to cheat me
'cause I won't forget
and next time your money
will be but a bet.

Parking Meter Poetry is made possible by bad parkers everywhere. And by the Fast Food Delights.

Get A Job

Loitering Meters

Parking meter stands by the side of the road
loitering, loitering young and old
looking for a handout, "Give me some change,
and when the sun comes up tomorrow
I'll do it again.
Wait, what are you doing back there?
Take that key out of me right now!"

Today's parking meter poem has been made possible with support from new shoes, the alternative to panhandling parking meters.

Rehersals Begin At 9:00

Parking meters are highly trained professionals who stay on their posts 24/7/365 and deserve your respect. They've come to me expressing concerns about the way so many of you abuse their passive nature and have asked I pass along the following message. Please take heed as they are no longer the small minority they once were and will soon become a major political force known as the Silent Majority. Ka-ching!

No Rehearsals Allowed

This bit of verse
I shan't rehearse
except to speak to say,
"Put your money in the slot
or just be on your way."

Parking Meter Poetry is made possible with support from reindeer. No, really.

Downtown Or Uptown, She's Always There... Waiting

Rita And Me

Lovely Rita, meter maid
and me, we have a deal:
She don't take your money
and I don't lock your wheel.

This morning's PMN (parking meter news) update is made possible by the one and only surefire way to never worry about parking tickets again-- sell your car and walk.