Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Conservative Chapel Hill Parking Meter Speaks Out

You Think It's Easy Working On A Pole?

The liberals here in Chapel Hill
are doing it again.
Taking from us working stiffs
to fuel their lives of sin.
Don't they know I have to eat--
like most, I just get by?
No tickets the first time you park--
were they all getting high?

Parking Meter Poetry is made possible by parking meters, their families and by StolenMotorcycle.net.

You Are Where You Park

When I meet a new parking meter I don't frown. Instead, I listen to them and in return these parking meters give me parking meter poetry so that I can share it with you here at Parking Meter Poetry. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Equal Opportunity Parking

Cha-ching, cha-ching, oh hear the ring
your coins you put in my slot.
I've got friends at city hall
and they like me a lot.
But I'm for equal opportunity,
you see, they must pay too.
So put your coins there in my slot
'cause it's the right thing to do....

Park Anywhere For A Price

Parking concerns run rampant and to get to the core of the issue, I spoke with a prominent big city parking meter who doesn't want to be identified. Here's what he had to say.

If You Don't Love It, Leave It

From Chitown east to Boston
they're making it real hard.
And so, if you don't like it
then pahk your cah in the yahd!

And that my friends, ends today's PMN Special Report.

Somewhere, Merle Haggard, is still laughing his ass off at the people who actually believed Okie from Muskogee was true.

Evolution Proven On City Streets

Everything evolves. Art, science, humanity, nothing escapes evolution. Call it theory if you like but the arguments against evolution are no more than fragile hypothesis with no basis in fact and no chance of stepping-up to become theory. In other words, these arguments are unable to evolve to the level of theory making them the exception that proves the rule. And no where in our world is proof of evolution stronger and more recognizable than in those who line our modern city streets.

Post Modern Parking Meter

No Need To complain,
no need to get spastic.
Don't have any change?
Fine, I take plastic!

So if you are tired,
perhaps feeling lethargic,
don't worry 'bout cash
'cause now you can charge it!

Today's highly evolved Parking Meter Poem has been made possible by everyone who feeds the parking meters.

Parking Immigration Issues?

Parking Meters Seek Visas

Why can't we work out on the freeway,
in the country, on back roads and lanes?
Why must we all stand at the airports
or downtown? We're going insane!
Why must we be stuck in the alley
when the Parkway has much better views?
Why can't we work out on the freeway--
charge the big rigs for parking there too?

And so it is, we give parking meters, poetry, and now they want the world to be their own.