Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Secret Life Of The Parking Meter

A Parking Meter Reminisces

In Chicago, we're slaves to Abu Dhabi,
and in Nashville, Los Angeles too.
In Pittsburgh, we slave to grifters
and the nation is getting its due.
The Emirates stand upon our necks,
leave us choking on their brew
while the Goldmans auction us thru the banks
and we dream of the life we once knew.

A tip of the meter to an anonymous parking meter for pointing me to the secret information for this, the latest in my series, The Parking Meters Tell All, a Parking Meter Poetry exclusive report.

Parking As An Art Form?

Poor meter...

Via BradWarthen.com

Parking Meter Block Party

Parking Meters Party Too

Parties on the city streets?
That's alright by me.
I get bored a little...
just don't forget the fee.
Put your money in my slot--
always feed your meter
and I'll be with you 'til the end
to make it all the sweeter.

Have I made mention that Parking Meter Poetry is channeled to me by parking meters?

Gas, Grass Or Ass, Nobody Parks For Free

Where Would You Like To Park?

Park it here, park it there--
anywhere, I don't care.
Just make sure you've change to pay
or you'll regret you parked today.

I guess even parking meters have a seedy side not everyone should see.

Bisexual Prostitutes Line Downtown City Streets

As if gangs, drugs and a blind city council oblivious to all that is wrong with our "fair" city weren't enough problems we now have long lines of bisexual prostitutes greeting all who visit downtown businesses no matter what their age, eight to eighty, blind, crippled or crazy. Is there no end to how far our city will fall?

Red Light Parking Meter

"Don't call me a hooker when you're parked at my feet.
I'll slap you so silly you'll run down the street.
I'll keep you in bondage, my boot on your wheel,
and before it's all over, my name you will squeal!

Now put it in my slot and shut up!"

What evil lurks in the hearts of parking meters? The city knows.