Friday, January 13, 2012

Investment Advice From Parking Meters?

I got an insider investment tip from a parking meter today and thought I would share.

How To Make The Big Bucks

Like any parking meter will tell you,
the cash is in the tips
but change is where it all adds up
to make accountants flip.
Invest in parking meters
We promise you'll do great.
We work the longest hours
and never are we late.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Low Down No Count No Space Parking Lot Blues

That's right, while most of America vacations the parking problems simply move from our cities to our recreational areas while everyone in the nation ignores the fact that if every car and truck in America were to be parked all at once the streets and highways would be forever blocked with parked cars and trucks. And with that I bring you today's installment of Poems By Parking Meters, Parking Meter Poetry.

Parkin' Meter Blues

Parking meters everywhere
but not a slot for you.
You ride 'n ride from side to side
you got the parkin' meter blues.
Had you given yourself more time
you could have beat the bunch
but as the parking meters stand
you'll be ridin' until lunch.

And you forgot to bring any change.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Hey Fool, You Park Where I Tell You To Park!

It's shocking but true! They're organized and lining the streets everywhere you look, entire cities are under siege and soon there will be no escaping these outlaws masquerading as law and order. And it's all because no one listened to their cries.

Roll On Sucka'

Life is unfair, tires aren't square,
they're round so they roll on and on
so unless you brought some change with you,
you'd best be rolling 'long.

This Poem a la Parking Meter was made possible by tired feet, the alternative to paying to park.

To Park Or Not To Park? That Is The Question

The parking meters of the world have united in an effort to produce change-- lots of change that can be converted to lots of dollars to do with any way they please. And these bright young meters have become literate and are using their new found skills to get their message to the world before it's too late.

What? No Change?

You knew I was waiting
before you came here
and now you are parking
the rules very clear.
But I'll not harass you,
I'll not make you move.
I'll just tell the cop
when he comes passing through.

Oversexed Parking Attendants

I donno, maybe she really likes me but when someone comes on so quickly in the first few seconds of our first meeting one can't help but think her behavior risky to say the least. I mean, if I were twenty one instead of fifty one I might have took her up on her offer but age has taught me that no matter how hot the meter the woman inside might not be exactly what she seems to be. Yeah, later tonight I'll probably regret turning her down but at the time I simply thought it best I move along.

Horny Parking Meter

Hey there, Big Boy,
let's have some fun.
Put it in my slot
and I'll make you come

running back to give me some more.

Today's Parking Meter Poem was made possible by... Yeah, right!